Romantic love has always been considered the irrevocable and unconditional love between two people. But what if you are in love with two different people at the same time? Does this mean that one of those feelings / relationships is not love?
In the new world of the liberated, expressionists, modernists and idealists, many new rules have emerged that break the old ones. Monogamy is no longer the only option when it comes to relationships. This new world has given birth to the insanely fresh type of relationship that is Polyamour.
Polyamorous relationships are commonly confused with open relationships. Polyamory is actually a type of open relationship, but you should be more familiar with them to know which is which. Read below and find out everything you need to know about polyamory relationship.
Table of Contents
What is a poly relationship?

Poly relationships are made up of people who have multiple lovers. In this type of relationship, you will have more of an intentional and intimate relationship at the same time with different people. It is a non-monogamous relationship that has its own rules and guidelines for success. However, you have to remember that every relationship is unique and nothing is set in stone for a relationship.
The only specific description of a poly relationship is that it involves multiple lovers. They don’t always have to be serious lovers or just sexual lovers. As long as you have more than one partner apart from each other and are both okay and aware of it, it is Polyamour.
Polyamory: we have all learned to love several friends, or several of our children in a differentiated way. With polyamory, we love several people in a differentiated way, without a single person coming to fulfill conjugality, eroticism, and parenthood.
Why polyamory?
Today, we are witnessing the end of traditional marriage and the unbreakable union: in France, for example, 130,000 divorces are pronounced per year and more than half of couples in the city will separate. The former partners will often repeat the same story, in a succession of unions-marriage-divorce and feel at a dead end.
And this is normal: there is a natural wear of the couple in the length. If a couple was formed young at 17-18 years old, they can live 70 years together in terms of life expectancy! It’s dizzying, especially as the risk of decreased desire is great, and the possibilities are more numerous today. Result? There are now many forms of the couple. Polyamory is one of them.
Polyamory: for whom?
“I love you deeply, but if I also loved someone else would you accept it?” It is more often men who ask this question. However, in the construction of the imagination, in our Judeo-Christian culture, infidelity is an act of transgression. Adultery often experienced by women as a betrayal. Even if, today, it is they who speak more and more of polyamory as an alternative to the adultery suffered.
Can we love several people at the same time?

We feel that it is possible. It is during the transition to carnal love that the question arises of the possibility of maintaining several relationships at the same time. And can we be sure that these relationships are not just physical, as it often happens? For this, a man and a woman in a relationship, must pass from the fusional couple, to the open or fissional couple.
While it may shock some people, it is possible to love more than one person at a time. To get there, you have to be very altruistic, that is to say, being able to sincerely rejoice in the happiness of the other even if it is not with us. To last over time, it is necessary to communicate well and to lay down very clear and defined rules to avoid misunderstandings. It takes a lot of confidence in yourself and between our partners as well as a lot of maturity to be happy in this kind of romantic relationship. Not everyone can manage to experience this relationship which requires being devoid of jealousy and feelings of possessiveness. You have to be able to put your ego in the locker room and not feel the need to be unique and exclusive for your loved one.
Polyamory vs polygamy: knowing how to distinguish them
With the dismal statistics on the durability of the couple, one might think that monogamy is not for everyone. Not easy to meet all the needs of the other and to reconcile them with our own. This is why some people have chosen to have romantic relationships with more than one person at a time, in an open manner with the consent of the partners involved. This type of relationship is called polyamory. It is based on sentimental and sexual freedom, for example kinky sex or even BDSM, on equality and honesty between partners as well as on respect for each other. It requires the same self-involvement as in a monogamous relationship.
In polyamorous relationship, everyone enjoys the same rights, which is not the case in a polygamous relationship. Indeed, polygamy is distinguished by the fact that a person has several romantic partners, who for them, only go out with this person. Polygamy is overwhelmingly a male phenomenon practiced mainly in African and Arab countries. Very few women have a relationship with multiple men that is loyal to them. This type of relationship is prohibited in Canada because it goes against the principle of equal rights for men and women. It strengthens the power of domination of men over women and creates a lot of stress, family conflicts and violence caused by the permanent competition between the women of the man.
Types of poly relationship
Like any type of relationship, polyamory has many subtypes. Try to see which of these elements perfectly defines yours. You need to distinguish one from the other in order to better define the boundaries and guidelines of your relationship. It is known that there are different phases of a relationship but there are others types of relationships.
Polyamory in solo
The first type of polyamory involves lovers who do not have any primary / original relationships but are openly dating multiple people at the same time. Participants of this type are for the most part alone in their individual and personal lives. The usual solo polyamory is more laid back than the next types of relationships.
Polyfidélité
The second type defines a group of three or more lovers who have a committed relationship with each other and do not date outside the group. This means that they are officially dating and are loyal to each other.
Hierarchical polyamory

This type involves people who have primary relationships to which they are most loyal and dedicated, but they also have secondary and tertiary relationships with other people who are given less time and attention. In hierarchical polyamours, the primary lover usually has more power over important decisions in the relationship.
Non-hierarchical polyamory
This type of polyamory is the complete opposite of the previous one. All lovers receive the same time and the same attention. No partner is more important than the others. It is also called egalitarian polyamory or relational anarchy.
Rules of the polyamorous relationship

Maintaining a healthy polyamorous relationship is no easy task. Imagine the sacrifice of sharing your partners with other people and having to compromise at all times? Well, that’s just the start as you deepen your relationship with each other. Only the bravest and the strongest win!
In order to help you overcome the challenges of being in a polyamorous type relationship, here are some guaranteed and proven rules you need to establish with each other. It pays to be really mature enough to follow and execute these rules:
Determine how much you want to share
As discussed earlier, each polyamory is unique. You can compromise on the time you spend with other partners, what to do and what not to do (sex) with your lovers, and you can even be okay if you don’t feel comfortable if some of your lovers visit your house (especially if you are married and already have children!).
Dedicate quality time to both of you
This is true for the types of polyamours that have primary partners. It is important to clearly define your priorities. First and foremost, quality time is essential to strengthening your relationship.
Set limits
With multiple lovers, your schedule and priorities can get a little muddy at times. It is important to sit down with your partners and discuss what is acceptable for each of them.
Respect your partner’s lovers
Jealousy is a whore. You won’t know you are feeling it or experiencing it until you already are. You are only human, so it’s normal to feel it, but also remember that your partner’s other lovers are just as human as you are. They also deserve your respect.
Make sure your expectations are realistic
It might seem like the ultimate sexual fantasy to have the freedom to have multiple relationships, but make sure each relationship has its own pros and cons, especially with polyamory.
Focus on communication
Communication is essential in all types of relationships, regardless of whether it is monogamy or polygamy. You should always have clear and open lines of communication with your partners to make this work in the short and long term.
Cherish the time for yourself
With multiple partners thirsty for your presence and taking up most of your time, you will need to put more effort into taking good care of yourself and understanding what you want and need for yourself.
Consider your motivations and those of your partner
Why are you in this type of relationship? Is this what you really want for yourself and for your partner? You need to think long and hard about these kinds of things in order to guide you in setting the rules and boundaries for your polyamorous relationship.
How to start a poly relationship

Starting any type of relationship can be very intimidating as you will be adjusting to a whole new life with another person, but you will still need to be yourself in the process. If you think starting a relationship is difficult, try starting a poly relationship with someone or your current monogamous partner. It’s going to be very nerve-racking even to ask for permission or to open up the idea, but if you want it and you think it will do you both good and excitement in your relationship, go ahead.
Introduce the idea of polyamory to your partner in private
Do this when you are at home or on a date. Find the perfect time or go for it as soon as you feel confident and ready enough.
Discuss your plan to establish guidelines and rules together

To make them feel safe and heard, assure them that you are both in the same boat and that you both have a say in what goes on.
Give your partner time to think about it
Give your partner space and time to really decide if they want it or not. Don’t rush into anything if even one of you isn’t ready.
If your partner says “no,” accept it and discuss your options
It’s not the end of the world if your partner doesn’t agree. You are still together and there is a lot that you can do to spice up your relationship. If your partner says “yes”, go to the next step.
Assure your partner that you are going to talk openly about other people you see

If your partner accepts your proposal, it is especially best to be honest about the other’s lovers. This will dramatically improve transparency and build more trust in your relationship.
Try the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy
On the other hand, you can try to keep each other on the basis of the need to know in your relationship to make everything less complicated. What your other partners don’t need to know, and don’t know, won’t hurt them.
Discuss how you are going to speak to the public about your polyamorous / polygamous status

At some point, other people will need to know your status. Name it, your friends and family should know. You have to prepare for it because the world is not as progressive as you might think. Some people are still stuck in the traditional world where only monogamy exists.
Decide what type of polygamy you are going to have
You already know that there are different types of poly relationships. You have to agree on which one you are going to embark on together and be very specific and clear about it.