We all have unique love stories. But this does not prevent each couple from spending most of the time through classic stages in the development of their romantic relationship. From “everything is beautiful, everything is perfect, I am living a real fairy tale” to “fed up with never sharing the mental load” or “but why did I put myself in a relationship with this person, what is it? that I could find him? ” going through “it’s more of a friend than a lover,” there are multiple stages… and very variable outcomes.
If you are wondering what stage your relationship is at. And want to know what will be the next step (and how to best prepare for it), it is useful to know the most frequent evolutions of a romantic relationship. Because we all know that the famous “they married and had many children” is only in the books. And still happy!
The 5 stages of a romantic relationship
If all love stories are unique, the fact remains that those that last are also most of the time punctuated by 5 major phases. Almost inevitable stages that govern the development of a relationship and that should be understood in order to go through them without too much hassle. Because if the most solid couples manage to move forward from one direction to another while keeping the flame alight, others capitulate from the first romantic storms.
The honeymoon period
At the start of a relationship, we are usually totally euphoric. As if we were wearing rose-colored glasses, we see the partner in a very idealized way. Flaws, weaknesses? NEVER. The explanation? We don’t see them because hormones keep us from realistically identifying our beloved partner. You’re just waiting for one thing: to find the other person, overwhelm them with attention, and let the excitement build as soon as you are with the other person.
This first phase, the one where you fall in love, lasts between 3 to 18 months (for those who are most fortunate). But we must be aware of this: this phase will inevitably pass at one time or another. It’s normal. Yet what comes next is equally good and just as important, as being madly in love gives way to a deeper feeling.
The struggle for power or the period of adaptation
This phase is important and it happens sooner or later in every relationship. This is the moment when mad love slowly crumbles and you can finally perceive the other more clearly – with their weaknesses, their fears, their idiosyncrasies. And yours too.
You know yourself better now and often wonder why you never noticed either of his quirks earlier. At this stage, you take stock of your relationship and your relationships. If each other’s expectations can be met, if the goals in life are similar, and if the habits are consistent with each other, then there is a good chance that this will be a relationship to last.
This is the time when you decide if you are going well together. Unfortunately, at this point in the relationship, many separate because one or the other – or both – realizes that the relationship is not on a solid enough foundation, that the discussions you have together are dwindling. Yet this is where the “couple” really begins. Because it is only from this phase that being in love can transform into a deep feeling of love. For some, it will be a dead end, for others, it is the beginning of a beautiful and solid love story.
Power sharing or stabilization period
Phase three is characterized by small struggles between the couple over who will have dominance and power. Because the other has their own mind, their own peculiarities and they can be annoying in everyday life. Maybe you got it wrong after all and just don’t really get along?
Sometimes it’s just the tube of toothpaste left open that makes us roll our eyes in annoyance, sometimes more than just a detail. Yet anyone who now thinks that he can still educate and reshape his partner according to his will is wrong and will learn it in pain. The good side of this rather difficult phase: those who cross it together this stage will end up in calmer waters. To do this, however, both partners must learn to compromise and accept their partner for who he or she is.
Commitment or true love
Water has flowed under the bridges and here is the famous “seventh year” tip of her nose. Already, know that the timing is not always the same for everyone. Sometimes it’s a little earlier, sometimes later, but that’s when a couple decides whether to stay together for the long haul. The little power struggles are over and you are looking at yourself more again. The time has come to take stock. Do I have enough space for myself? Is there also an “I” next to “we”? Am I still independent? Is the common path the one that is also the right one for me?
If you can answer these questions in the affirmative, you will see: living as a couple gives both security and can also prove to be a good basis for developing as an individual. And try things that you might not have dared to be celibate, like tantric sex or trying new positions.
Trust and security in the other
Of all the stages in a relationship, this is the best. We took stock and one thing is clear: the other is important to me, he / she enriches me and vice versa. The couple went through many phases, endured many storms together, mastered small and large crises together, and it resulted in a close-knit romantic relationship. After phase 4, during which you took more care of yourself, you come closer to each other again.
In this new stage, confidence is well established. Everyone can therefore give themselves freedom without fear. After all, you’ve both worked hard for this over the past few years, between struggles, heated arguments, fights and misunderstandings. Living together and living independently can now be combined harmoniously without one partner feeling neglected. There are no more unrealistic expectations, no more masquerade and you are not projecting anything in your partner that he cannot satisfy at all.
You have come to know yourself and you love yourself as you are. This is love. Without frills or fireworks but with healthy bases, common but also independent desires. Anyone who has been through all phases of a relationship and arrived here can count themselves very lucky. It is love with a capital A, the real one, the only one. And no one is safe from knowing it!
Key stages of a new romantic relationship
Starting a new romantic relationship is magic. We constantly think of the other, we only talk about that to those close to us … in short, it’s happiness and we don’t want it to stop. But starting a great story is also synonymous with important steps. Here are some tips on how to get over them safely and make your meeting the start of a life for two.
The first date
If, like many people, you think you’ve found your other half on a serious dating site, the first date is obviously a decisive step for the rest of your love story. Rule # 1 for having a good time: stay yourself and take an interest in each other.
The first kiss
It’s not easy to take the first step at the start of a relationship, especially when it comes to a first kiss. Should you start from the first meeting? Or wait a bit? Avoid asking yourself too many questions. Let your emotions take over to find the perfect moment!
First visit to his apartment
Just like physical appearance, keeping your apartment well can play a key role in a new relationship. Taking care of your decoration reflects a good image of yourself and always reserves a pleasant surprise when you invite your other half for the first time.
The first time
Again, it all depends on how you feel about your new relationship. While some prefer to wait a bit before taking action, for others, on the contrary, things can go faster. No right or wrong answer, it’s up to you to decide the perfect time.
First meeting with his friends
Always scary, the first meeting with the friends of your other half can be decisive in your relationship. Don’t panic though, because if the first night doesn’t quite go as planned, that doesn’t mean the end of your story. Stay the same and over time you will manage to find your place among his group of friends.
The first object you leave with your partner
It’s been several weeks now that you live a beautiful story and the least we can say is that your relationship is becoming more and more serious. The proof, your toothbrush has already found a place in his bathroom. For many couples, it is indeed the first object that one leaves with his partner and which shows a real desire to start a story. serious. It is this everyday object that the dating site Attractive World has chosen to highlight in its new campaign by creating a box of two toothbrushes in the brand’s colors. Perfect for couples who aspire to start a life together.
Meeting with the in-laws
It is a bit the test of fire of any new relationship, you will not be able to escape it! Although there is no miracle recipe to take this step smoothly, keep it simple and smile (e) to win unanimity with your (future) in-laws.
The first romantic vacation
Long weekend requires, you have decided to go together for the first time. A moment always eagerly awaited because it gives you an idea of what cohabitation with your partner would be like. To leave in the best conditions, choose a destination that suits you both, and anticipate the activities to do once there.
Moving in
Deciding to live together is a very important step in a relationship. First of all, define your expectations together and know how to compromise. If all the conditions are right, starting a life together can really strengthen your relationship and fill you with happiness.
7 golden rules to make your romantic relationship last
Discover the golden rules in love to improve and optimize your pleasure, your sexuality, your confidence and the affection within your couple.
Touch your lover to make your romantic relationship last
The sense of touch releases endorphins both in the person who touches and in the person who is touched. This hormone promotes well-being. So get in the habit of taking the other’s hand while walking, touch his cheek while kissing him in the morning. Revive the small gestures of touch that you used to have when you started, such as a kiss on the ear, a hand in the hair, for example. Adding touch to your relationship will allow you to form a stronghold of love that will make you more united and stronger in times of adversity.
Give little compliments or call your partner spontaneously
Be aware that it often takes several positive remarks to erase a single negative remark. So take the time to compliment your girlfriend on her new shoes or, conversely, make a positive comment on your boyfriend’s new sweater. Take the trouble to call your spouse’s office just for a hello and remember to thank often for the help you receive from your spouse and when you do, do it sincerely and look each other in the eye.
Work on yourselves
It’s easy to put the blame on the other when you’re feeling angry, disappointed, betrayed, or stressed. The danger then is to think that it is your spouse who must change to make your relationship work. However, the problem does not always come from the other.
Trying to get your partner to change puts them on the defensive and makes them see a negative version of you. The result? No one changes, no one takes charge of the relationship and everyone is unhappy.
Learn to relax and change your mind to foster your relationship
The classic advice that all the experts give to singles looking for a soul mate? Be the one you want to attract. The same applies in the case of a long term relationship. If you are feeling happy or happy, your relationship will be a happy one too. The better you feel, the better your relationship will be. It will be easier to deal with conflicts.
Find a relaxing activity that’s right for you. Whether it’s 15 minutes of morning yoga, a new hobby that helps you let go, or cooking lessons, positive emotions can only make you happier or happier, and you will have richer times together.
Be fair and equitable during bickering to strengthen your romantic relationship
Conflict is a part of all relationships and can be quite healthy at times. The important thing is how they are managed. A study conducted in Florida with long-term couples showed that being able to resolve a conflict situation between two is a key factor in the success of 70% of couples surveyed. With the right tools and the right attitude, arguments can become a path to deeper intimacy, a way of showing yourself and the other person in their true light and accepting the other in all their vulnerability and wholeness. Your union can only be solidified.
Choose the right time to discuss more seriously with your partner
Don’t start a heated discussion if you are not rested or if you haven’t eaten. Fatigue and hunger can cause you to make hateful remarks and let out negative thoughts. Avoid consuming alcohol for the same reasons. Instead, wait until you can toast your reconciliation.
Never try to resolve a confrontational situation if you are distracted by something. Turn off the television, move your smartphone away, and shut down your computer. If you are bothered by an outside factor, postpone the discussion. You won’t be able to settle anything on the go.
Listen more to your better half
What if you only had one thing you could do better to ensure a healthier relationship with your partner? Talk less and listen more. Blame, name calling, criticism and blackmail never ends well and gives you a very difficult atmosphere to bear. When the discussion turns to combat, don’t interrupt, wait before offering a solution or defending yourself too quickly.
When it comes to emotions, they need to be heard. Nod, rephrase what your partner says to you to make him understand that you are listening to him, react briefly to his words to show him that you respect the feelings which he expresses in words. Sometimes all we need to feel closer to someone is to listen to what they have to say to us.