The Most Common Sex Dreams And What They Actually Mean

The baker downstairs, your mother-in-law, your colleague, even your chef. You just woke up and realize you had a hot night with one of them… in your dreams! In a Relationship, you feel guilty, single, you are simply embarrassed, and do not wait to meet him or her. Know that everyone is likely to have erotic dreams. Some of us are even capable of having orgasms from sleep. But what do they mean?

Have you had any erotic dreams? This is perfectly normal, and experts say that they don’t necessarily mean that what you see in the dream is really going to happen, but they do have a meaning that you need to understand to stop dreaming about the same thing. At some point in our lives we all come to have erotic dreams, sometimes they are exotic fantasies that we would really like to experience, and sometimes they are disturbing, weird, non-romantic scenarios that leave us perplexed as to their meaning and their possible revelation of a forbidden desire that we repress.

Interpretation of dreams, even the most common ones, is not an exact science, but experts claim that there are different reasons why these scenarios and situations can appear while we sleep, and that they do not necessarily mean what than we think. The message is not always so obvious and can vary according to the situation of each one at the time of the dream, or the nightmare.

How many times do we dream of sex at night?

It is said that people dream of sex for about 60 hours a year. Eight percent of our dreams are about sex, according to a Canadian study, and people dream a total of two and a half hours a night. But we remember very little about it. And if we do, sometimes sex dreams are particularly weird, like kinky sex or even BDSM. Especially when it comes to loved ones: Many people report having had sex in their dreams with people they would not think of having sex with in real life.

Why do we have erotic dreams?

If one relies on the neurological structural model of dreams, your “unconscious identity” emerges when you sleep since basic executive functions are weakened. Dreams transgress prohibitions, ignore taboos and remove all inhibitions. They allow you to escape from everyday life and find refuge in improbable chimeras.

This unconscious identity replaces your ego for the duration of your dreams and frees you from all moral limits. This makes sometimes your dreams seem to act as if they were responding to repressed impulses. In fact, by following the school of thought of psychoanalysis among others popularized by Sigmund Freud.

Erotic dreams under the scientific lens

When you sleep, the Id takes the opportunity to release any thoughts repressed during the day. Please note: these impulses do not necessarily reflect what you really want to do. For example, you may have a sudden urge to hurt someone around you because they are bothering you, but your Superego is preventing you from doing so.

The next night, it is possible that your dreams transpose images of violence, but you guessed it, you don’t really want to hit your aunt Suzette. The same goes for erotic dreams. It is not because you dream of an orgy that you want to experience one or that you feel ready to experience it the following days!

What about research?

In general, it would seem that a person who remembers their dreams less regularly would experience erotic dreams less often. Events that are emotionally intense in waking life have a high chance of subsequently appearing in your dreams. You will probably agree that erotic dreams are associated with a positive emotional tone, perhaps leaving you with an unintentional smile on your face when you wake up, since waking sex brings you hormones of happiness like oxytocin.

Dreams are not necessarily reality

However, there is no point in being alarmed, if not to create more confusion, questions or even unnecessary accusations. Your partner (s) may be dreaming of another person because he or she does not feel fully fulfilled in their sex life. Then take this opportunity to rediscover your sex life together: discuss your fantasies and try new things!

The most common sex dreams

They say that dreams are windows to the subconscious, but also that deciphering them is a bit more complicated and that when it comes to dreams or nightmares erotic, the meaning may not be sexual at all (don’t worry, dreaming that you are having sex with your high school English teacher doesn’t mean you really want to do it in the real world). “It is very difficult to interpret exactly the meaning of a dream, because it has a different meaning in different people.

The dream of merging with intense desire

The first example of a recurring erotic dream observed by Tristan Moir, that “of a loving fusion, without there being any penetration but with the sensation of an intense desire. ” Most of the time, what surprises when you wake up is that this merger did not take place with “the right person”, namely the official spouse. Does that mean that we secretly wish to be unfaithful ? “Not necessarily, reassures Tristan Moir, who sees it more as a process of refocusing with oneself”. “The other in the dream represents our opposite pole”, he explains.” In psychoanalysis, we often consider that our dreams speak mainly about us and that consequently, all the characters of the dream are a facet of ourselves.

The dream that turns into an orgasm

Another scenario, the dream which this time “materializes” and ends, in a dream or even sometimes, as the song says, more really, in an orgasm. For Tristan Moir, this is “a dream of compensation”, which translates “a sexuality that is not up to par”. In other words, our unconscious helps us to feel in dreams what we cannot live in reality.

Sleeping with a celebrity

What is interesting in this type of dream is that it shows a certain liberation of the dreamer. Which moreover wakes up most of the time before being able to conclude, proof of guilt which would resist the unconscious. “Again, it is not necessarily a real desire to go elsewhere and if possible with George, Brad, or for the youngest, Ryan.” The real meaning of these dreams are understood on a case-by-case basis, depending on each story. “

Sex with your best friend or boss

It doesn’t mean that you are sexually attracted to that person, but that you are looking for a way to make that relationship work, or generally it means that you see in them certain skills and qualities that you would like to cultivate more. The same is usually true for erotic dreams about coworkers who are not also friends.

To deceive or be deceived

It also doesn’t mean that there is infidelity in your relationship. If it was you setting the powder on fire in the dream it might be a way for your mind to adjust to a new relationship or change, but if it is a recurring dream it it could be a sign that you are feeling let down or that there is some sort of resentment in the relationship. It’s a way for your mind to tell you that you need to have a conversation with your partner.

Sex with a monster or disturbing creature

Dreaming about having sex with a stranger or a monster often represents a great opportunity to express yourself creatively in your waking life. If your intimate partner in the dream is a stranger, then exploring this opportunity may require you to put yourself in situations that seem quite weird and unusual.

Having sex with an ex

It does not mean that you have remorse or regrets or that you are still attracted to this person.” They are just memories that come to the surface. Rarely, it may mean that you are re-interested in him / her.

Having a relationship with a person of the same sex

We all have both masculine and feminine aspects. We are happy when these two parts are balanced. It could represent the need for contact and integration with these fundamental archetypes of the psyche, where anima re-proposes the unconscious female aspect in the man and animus the unconscious male aspect in the woman.

Failing to reach orgasm

The inability to achieve pleasure could symbolize a frustration occurring in one’s life.” Mixed emotions and the desire to achieve something can make you dream of sexual failure.

Dreaming of doing a striptease

This dream indicates a growing self-confidence. You have embarked on a path of metamorphosis that is giving you more power and more sex appeal and an awareness of what you need to have fun and entertain. Blessed is the person who will benefit from all this.

Dreaming of making tied up love

This dream indicates that you have repressed sexual aspirations. Dreaming of being tied up in bed indicates that you feel connected on a sexual level, that you are yearning for new experiences, to discover your sexual potential. You want to explore forbidden territories, indulge your sadomasochistic and perverse inclinations.

Making love on a train

Having sex on a train with your partner is very meaningful. If the train goes smoothly, it’s because the relationship is on the right track. Otherwise, the couple may be going through a crisis.

The dream of incest

Sleeping with a family member in a dream can be especially disturbing. It thus more readily resembles a nightmare. If you have been the victim of incestuous sexual abuse that you are reliving in a dream, it is better to talk to a professional. Otherwise, there is no need to feel uncomfortable. The incestuous dream speaks to us of the child who lies dormant in us, whom we seek to meet. It is not the sign of a desire for the person with whom the sexual act took place.

The dream of rape

Very destabilizing, the dream of rape has, if one has not been a victim of rape or sexual abuse, sometimes nothing to do with this aggression. Rape more symbolizes intrusion or the feeling of having a desire imposed on oneself.

Make love with a stranger

To dream of having sex with a stranger can have several meanings. It can tell you about your own balance, be a sign of your maturity. It can also be the representation of the person you are looking for and your unmet needs if you are in a relationship.

The most common sexual fantasies

In everyday life, most of us don’t go around telling about our sexual fantasies or desires. For sexologists, however, these conversations are the order of the day. Clients tend to mention certain fantasies all the time, giving professionals an idea of ​​the most popular ones in general. We asked our network of sexologists to reveal the fantasies their clients mention most often.

Having a threesome

Singles and couples alike fantasize about threesomes between the sheets. Part of the charm is the excess of sensuality – so many different body parts all intertwined. Many couples like the idea of ​​a threesome to bring sparks and excitement back into bedroom

Domination and submission

Both women and men are interested in domination and submission. Men are generally more interested in dominating and women are more interested in being dominated, but this is not always the case. There are dominant women and submissive men. domination are based on power, on exercising control of an experience and that the other person will submit to your every whim. There are two super sexy things in submission: the first is the feeling that the submissive has all the attention of the dominator, all his concentration. The second is the feeling of losing control and being taken or exploited for the pleasure of others.

Foot fetish

Foot and shoe patterns are very popular, mostly among men. These patterns can include genital stimulation with the foot, being stepped on usually with shoes, or simply viewing various shoe designs to get aroused. of a foot in a particular type of shoe is very stimulating for some. This fantasy often starts at a young age, and continues. If we think about how shoes are sold and displayed, it is not surprising that for some they become an erotic object. stronger when kept secret (it often happens) or when a partner is upset. Then, the fantasy for the feet becomes stronger through the association with shame, with a forbidden fruit.

For straight people, having sex with someone of the same sex

We are inclined to conceive of sexual orientation as binary (straight and homosexual), but these categories are socially constructed concepts that can attest to our general sexual desires but do not understand the nuances of an innate sexual fluidity and curiosity. When we imagine a relationship with someone of the same sex, we come to reflect on what it would be like to be touched in ways that are both unfamiliar and familiar (when we masturbate) and to free ourselves from some gender-related beliefs that we normally carry out.

Give your partner multiple orgasms

Among straight men, without exception, the most common fantasy I hear, year after year, is about having a relationship with an enthusiastic partner who is genuinely entertaining and is sensitive and receptive to contact. They could be memories of a previous sexual experience (particularly fiery), or pictures from a porn movie, or maybe a fantasy about a secret crush. But in any case, the woman enjoys immensely and experiences multiple orgasms.

This fantasy often arises in men who believe they need to persuade their partner to have sex. Many men confess that it’s hard to stay aroused when you know (or suspect) that their partner doesn’t like it one hundred percent. Also, many of them reveal that when the partner is super horny, they are even more excited, and this increases sexual satisfaction. It can also help the ego if a man feels good in bed.

Watching your partner have sex with someone else

Even though so many of us aspire to have a monogamous relationship, there is something inherently provocative and forbidden in the fantasy of watching our partner having sex with someone else. Watching another hand touching the partner’s body or another mouth kissing, increases the desirability of the partner, making a predictable relationship seem suddenly unpredictable, taking us back to the days of infatuation, on the contrary, helpless. In any case, through the lenses of the imagination, pain also becomes pleasure.

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