Sexual orientation is a form of sexual or emotional attraction that one feels for another person, whether of the opposite sex or of the same sex. During adolescence, it is sometimes difficult to navigate and define your sexual orientation. Here are some keys to help you see more clearly!
The more society evolved, the more the LGBTQ + community changed becoming something different and less and less focused on the original definitions that saw a community created by people who could only belong to specific sexual or gender orientations such as gay, lesbian and transsexual.
Read below and find out the meaning and how many sexual and romantic orientations exist.
Table of Contents
What is sexual orientation?
Affective and sexual orientation refers to the attraction, desire (sexual or emotional) that we feel for people of the same sex (we speak of homosexuality) or of the opposite sex (heterosexuality), or even for both sexes (bisexuality or pansexuality). For some, this preference is obvious and asserts itself very early on. For others it is more fluctuating and can take time to be determined.
Either way, it’s not a choice you make, or something you control. Nor is it a whim or sexual dream or fantasy. This orientation is built gradually, over the meetings, without our being aware of it, and always ends up asserting itself. However, it is not fixed and can also evolve over the course of life: you are not locked all your life in a “hetero” or “homo” box. Sometimes people change direction at 30, 40 or 50. Likewise, having a homosexual experience does not necessarily mean that you are gay, lesbian or bi. This can, in some cases, help to get to know each other better, or even to define their preferences.
Sexual orientation has nothing to do with gender identity, which refers to how one defines oneself as either female or male, or both or neither of 2. For some people, gender identity is the sex assigned to them at birth (we speak of cisgender), for others, it is different (we speak of transgender).
What if you are discriminated against?
We are all different and this diversity is found in sexuality and romantic relationships. This difference can scare some people and cause a feeling of rejection or violence ( homophobia, biphobia, etc.). You have rights and in particular the right to be protected against such acts. If you are faced with discrimination, do not hesitate to talk to an adult at your school (CPE, education assistant, school nurse, etc.). You can also contact one of the structures closest to you (Family Planning Center, Maison des adolescents, etc.).
Is it right to label an orientation?
There have always been discussions between people who wonder whether it is right or not to label a sexual orientation. Meanwhile, the mistake lies in imagining a label that is put in front of you, and even more upstream the mistake lies in defining this thing as a “label”. To simplify:
●labels are put on you by other people who want to trap you in a specific box, and no one should allow themselves to label other people in any way
●defining oneself is instead a matter of self-determination, and it means looking for a name or a group of people who can identify themselves as you, helping you to understand and understand who you are and the path you want to take, and the definition is something that no one can give us, but that we all seek
Sexual orientation, romantic and gender identity: what changes
As we have said, there are many nuances to define sexual, romantic and gender identity orientations and each nuance allows us to better understand who we are or who we are in front of. To understand how important it is to have these definitions and use them at their best, just think that for each one there is also a Pride flag created to best represent all orientations and genres.
But let’s start from the beginning and meanwhile let’s see the differences between sexual orientation, romantic orientation and gender identity. “The Gender bread Person”, an illustration created some time ago, helps us to understand in a few seconds the meanings of the important concepts related to the gender expression of each individual person.
Sexual orientation
Sexual orientation is a romantic and / or sexual attraction towards another person. For example, attraction towards a person of the same sex indicates that the sexual orientation is homosexual, of the opposite sex is heterosexual, etc. We will see that in addition to homosexual, heterosexual and bisexual there can be many other orientations.
Romantic orientation
When the orientation does not trigger a sexual attraction towards the same and / or different genders but only romantic attraction, we speak of romantic orientation. For example, heteroromantics feel romantic attraction to the opposite sex, biromantics towards male and female genders or panromantic towards any gender.
Gender identity
Gender identity has nothing to do with sexual orientation but is a person’s sense of belonging to a gender (i.e. man, woman or something unrelated to these two). It has nothing to do with sexual or romantic attraction, but only with one’s belonging (or not) to a sex. Gender identity does not necessarily correspond to biological sex, as for example with transgender people.
Gender expression
Finally, the expression of gender, simplifying it, is the set of all the external characteristics with which a person presents himself to society and which often make use of the female and male categorization, but they can also all be mixed together.
All kinds of sexual orientation and definitions: how many exist and what they mean
Now let’s see all the various sexual orientations outlined so far and what are the definitions for each of them. Read below and find out all the sexual orientation that exists and even about polyamory.
Gay
What does it mean to be gay? It means being homosexual, that is, recognizing yourself as a man and being attracted to people who identify as men.
Vincian
What does it mean to be Vincian? Gay for some people is too general a term because it can be used as a term to describe homosexuality in general. For this one uses Vincian. This is actually one of the many terms, but the most common, to refer to men or people who are aligned with the male gender identity who feel attraction to other men or people who are aligned with the male gender identity. So in simple terms, a cis or trans man who is attracted to another cis or trans man.
Lesbian
What does it mean to be a lesbian? It means being homosexual, that is, recognizing yourself as a woman and being attracted to people who identify as women. Among lesbians there can be several categories more related to style and aesthetics.
Bisexuality
What does it mean to be bisexual? It means recognizing yourself as a man or a woman and being attracted to both people who identify as men and people who identify as women. Many make jokes about the fact that bisexuality is a convenient choice, because it allows you to have an alibi and not come out, but not recognizing this gender is a symptom of biphobia that goes hand in hand with homophobia. Bisexuality exists and no one is in a position to tell a bisexual that in fact it is not.
Transsexual
What does it mean to be transsexual? Transsexual people are those people who have a gender identity other than their biological sex and who have undertaken or want to undertake the transition process, i.e. undergo hormone therapy and sex reassignment operations.
Transgender
What does it mean to be transgender? Transgender people are all those people who have a gender identity other than their biological sex. So in reality it is a generic term that includes within several people such as trans men and trans women, but also people who are not exclusively related to male and female genders such as non-binary people, genderqueer, agender etc., but we will see to short all these meanings.
Queer
What does it mean to be Queer? Queer is an umbrella term often used to identify sexual and gender minorities who are not heterosexual or are not cisgender (so their gender identity does not match biological sex). This term was used in the past with non-positive connotations, because in English it means “unusual” but also “eccentric”.
Usually the term is chosen precisely by di not wanting to identify with a specific gender or orientation, and is often used in a political way or by activists in order to emphasize the freedom of individuals to self-determine. Also in this case, even the LGBT community often does not recognize the term queer and has difficulty understanding its meaning, however this is not an excuse because everyone is free to define themselves as they see fit without having to ask others for permission to do so.
Pansexuality
What does pansexual mean? Pan- means “everything” and therefore pansexuality indicates the attraction of a person towards a person regardless of this person’s gender or sexual orientation. Gender and orientation are concepts that have no value whatsoever in a pansexual person.
Intersexuality
What does it mean to be intersex? Being intersex means being a person who has primary and / or secondary sexual characteristics that cannot be defined as exclusively male or female. Interesting people are born with these characteristics, so being intersex is not something you can choose or acquire over the years.
Non-binary and genderqueer gender
Genderqueer meaning and what does non-binary mean? The non-binary gender, also known as non-binary or genderqueer is a gender that includes all those people who do not consider themselves belonging to the male or female gender, but who differently recognize themselves in both (genderfluid when they oscillate between one gender and another). People Non-binary, genderqueer and genderfluid fall under the umbrella term transgender, because they identify so different from the biological sex assigned at birth.
Androgyny
What does it mean to be androgynous? Androgyny is a term that belongs to the family of non-binary genders. It indicates a gender identity placed between the masculine and the feminine even if the adrogenous people often do not identify themselves in either of the two identities. Androgyny is also often identified as a third gender or gender neutral.
Asexuality
What does it mean to be asexual? Asexuality is the total lack of sexual attraction or interest in sex and can affect people attracted to any gender. However, asexuality should not be confused with deprivation of sex for social or religious reasons. Being asexual is not a behavior, but a real orientation. Also, asexual people can choose to have sex if they want, even if they don’t feel the urge.
Agenderflux
What does it mean to be agenderflux? An agenderflux person (also called librafluid ) is mainly an asexual person but with a partial connection to a gender which however can fluctuate being more or less characterized, or absent.
Gray-asexual or Greysexual
What does it mean to be Gray-asexual or Greysexual? A gray-asexual person is a person with a primarily asexual orientation, but with gray areas that allow for some exceptions. For instance:
●sexual attraction is experienced only infrequently or less
●feeling of alienation from sexuality
●identify as asexual, even if the term does not best represent one’s orientation
Aromantic
What does it mean to be aromantic? Aromantic people have no affection and love for anyone, and while aromantics are often asexual, some people may not like to have sexual relations. Aromantic people are not totally prevented from feeling love, because they can experience very strong feelings such as family love or platonic love between friends. In addition, aromantic people may have problems distinguishing between different types of affection, for example love for one’s family, friends or partner.
Bigender
What does it mean to be Bigender? Bigender or dual-gender is a gender and behavioral identity whereby a person identifies with both the male and female gender, using both gender expressions or floating between the two. A bigender person is not genderfluid because he identifies himself only in male and female identities and not in non-binary identities.
Achillean, Sapphic and Diamonic
What does it mean to be Achillean, Sapphic or Diamonic? Mostly used in English (achillean, sapphic, diamonic ) these terms refer to the masculine (achillean), feminine (sapphic) and non-binary (diamonic) gender. But what does it mean?
A person who believes himself to be achillean is a man or person with a male-aligned sexual identity who is attracted to other men or men who identify as such. It is not a term used primarily to indicate sexual attraction, but more than anything else it is used to promote solidarity between men of all identities. The same thing goes for sapphic and diamonic.
Polysexuality
What does it mean to be polysexual? The sexual orientation of polysexuality indicates attraction towards different genders, but not all. For this reason, polysexuality should not be confused with pansexuality which is the attraction for all genders.
Homoflexibility
What does it mean to be homoflexible? In English homoflexible, this term is used to describe people who are primarily attracted to people of the same gender but who may occasionally be attracted to people of a gender distinct from their own.
Sexual orientation test
If you haven’t primarily figured out how to identify yourself yet and are willing to do so, some tests may allow you to understand your sexual orientation more easily. Obviously there is no perfect test for this type of topic, but some of these are designed by associations that deal specifically with sexual orientation and gender identity, and can be used to help us understand what path we are taking and what could be the our sexual orientation. If you want to know if you love someone or who do you love, take this test.
Find out your sexual orientation with the Klein test
The American Institute of Bisexuality proposes a test based on the table of sexual orientations designed by dr. Fritz Klein (The Klein Sexual Orientation Grid, or KSOG). This grid was introduced to science by Dr. Klein in the first edition of his book “The Bisexual Option.” This gray is able to describe many more shades than the Kinsey scale and is therefore used for a more specific search for a sexual orientation. Try the test now to try to find out what your sexual orientation may be: Klein test.