The Best Ways To Build Trust In A Relationship

All couples are different. It is obvious since individuals are different, their histories are different, needs, dreams and family situations differ… However, there is a necessary ingredient in any relationship, a foundation without which it is not possible to building together: trust.

Trust is the essential element that opens the doors to a true and lasting relationship. It takes time and effort to gain someone’s trust. Whether in the workplace or with your social relationships, trust is what allows you to move forward, to create a network of people on whom you can count. In a romantic relationship, the stakes are even higher as our innermost emotions are exposed and entrusted to someone else.

When our partner places their trust in us, it is a responsibility that should not be taken lightly. However, sometimes we get lost. We do something that makes us lose the confidence of the loved one. One misstep, no matter how small in your eyes, can completely break the bonds that united you. If the relationship is important to you, you’ll want to regain your partner’s trust.

How to get a person’s trust

Before moving on, it is essential to note that the advice given below is intended to help you gain the trust of a person in all sincerity. This is not about using “tricks” to make someone believe you are trustworthy. For this to really work, you need to genuinely want your relationship with your partner to grow stronger based on mutual trust.

Show respect

If there is no respect, there cannot be trust. When one or both partners tend to throw spikes intended to demean or humiliate the other, trust cannot exist. There is no question of relapsing into aseptic politeness or of rediscovering the address of yesteryear. However, it happens that without realizing it one allows oneself to address one’s partner in a tone or using clenbuterol purchase words with which one would never dare to speak to a cashier or a colleague. To gain someone’s trust and for that trust to last, you have to show that person that you respect them, even in the event of disagreement.

Say what you think, think what you say

Being true to your word is advice that applies to many situations. In a couple, it is an essential element for the establishment of confidence. Before you make any promises or share an opinion, make sure it’s what you really mean. Of course, we can change our mind. You may not be able to keep a promise you really intended to keep, but in such cases it has to be said. Likewise, avoid “white lies“, those things that you say to avoid hurting the other or because you think it is not of great importance.

Learn to share your emotions, even (especially) when it’s difficult

When you can share what it feels like without fear of being judged, rejected, ignored, or losing someone’s love, you really trust them. Getting there is not easy. We also have a responsibility to know how to communicate our emotions. It is important to get used to sharing your feelings, especially during difficult times, without resorting to yelling, recriminations, verbal attacks and without succumbing to the desire to just shut up to end the conversation.

Give the benefit of the doubt

It may seem counterintuitive. If I don’t trust someone, why should I give them the benefit of the doubt? Remember, the goal is for you to develop mutual trust. When you give your partner the benefit of the doubt, he / she will be encouraged to be worthy of that trust. In addition, it is a first step to fully trust a person. You give the other person the opportunity to be worthy of your trust and you show that you want your relationship to be based on trust.

Show your vulnerabilities, little by little

When we decide to ask for help, when we confide in someone something embarrassing, when we share our most intimate fears, when we expose our faults and flaws, we accept to be vulnerable. By doing it gradually, we gradually show that we trust our partner. By giving the other person the opportunity to hurt us, to reject us, to abandon us, and to decide not to, it helps build trust.

Do something risky together

People who have been through an event together that pushed them out of their comfort zone and forced them to push their limits often forge an unbreakable bond. We see it with the soldiers who fought the war together, with the survivors of an accident, or even with people who live extraordinary adventures together (climbing a mountain, crossing the Amazon…). Such conditions are ideal for gauging whether a person is worthy of our trust. Our life can literally depend on the other person.

Learn to give and receive

Reciprocity is a significant factor in all relationships. Whatever scenario you find yourself in, it is obvious that there cannot be one person who is perpetually giving and the other is only receiving. Understand that this is not about “counting the points”. The important thing is that everyone feels that they are giving as much as they are receiving. Nor is it about finding a status quo. It may happen that at certain times one of the two people is able to give more to the other (job loss, illness, depression, etc.). As long as the balance is restored, there is no problem.

How to rebuild trust in a couple

Broken trust is often associated with adultery which leads to couples who broke up. This is indeed a very common cause, but not the only one. The partner may have lied about an addiction (alcohol, drugs, gambling…) or lied about something important. For example concerning the work, the family or the finances of the couple.

Either way, rebuilding trust is a difficult and time-consuming process. You can lose a person’s trust in a matter of minutes, but to regain it, it takes constant effort over time. Of course, these tips will only be helpful if used with sincerity and a genuine desire to regain lost confidence.

Tell the truth, but the whole truth

When the work of reconstruction begins, the person involved often has the temptation not to tell the whole truth all at once. She may hide certain details that would work against her, embellish the truth a bit, or lie to push back her full confessions to a later date.

It is impossible for things to turn out that way. For confidence to return, you have to expose all the facts, accept all your wrongs. The spouse who has to relearn how to trust the other after a betrayal will feel like that person is manipulating them, playing with their feelings, or just unwilling to put in the effort to really regain their trust. Even though the omissions are intended to “protect” the other from the most reprehensible actions that have been committed, they are a hindrance to a healthy relationship based on trust.

Minimize the other person’s feelings

Whether out of guilt or to “calm down” his or her partner, the person who has broken trust in the relationship tends to reject or downplay the feelings and reaction of the betrayed person. It is sometimes unbearable for them to see the person they love suffer through their fault. Fully feeling and expressing the pain of betrayal, however, is an essential step towards healing. Understand every phase of relationship and build the trust in your relationship.

Answer specific questions without giving all the relevant information

“Have you slept with X?” ” Yes I slept with X.”(But you did not ask questions about Y and Z, so I did not lie, I responded honestly to the question.)

This example sums up this other trap that must be avoided. If you want to regain your partner’s trust, don’t put him or her in the role of a detective who has to ask all the questions, with exact phrasing, precise details, for you to answer sincerely. You know full well that the person wants all the information relevant to the problem. If you withhold this information while answering only the question posed, you are not allowing trust to bloom again.

Encourage the other to ask the questions

If you have to confess something to your partner, be frank and direct, don’t force them to ask questions, to snub you in order to get the truth. Just say “I did something…”, “There is something I need to talk to you about…”, and wait for the other to ask the questions.

The responsibility for bringing the truth to light does not lie with your partner. You shouldn’t put the onus on him to ask the questions so that confidence will return. You cannot tell yourself that you did your part just by stating that there was a problem. Take charge and say whatever there is to say.

Expect immediate forgiveness

Forgiveness cannot be bought with honesty. Honesty is a first step, but the decision to forgive is up to the person who has been wronged. It can take time, and when you “demand” or make it clear that you “deserve” forgiveness for being honest, you are not allowing the other person to fully feel and digest the betrayal. These are things that are done at different rates in different people.

Be on the defensive or be aggressive

In such situations, not all betrayed partners get angry, some withdraw or only share their disappointment and suffering. However, it happens very often that the person gets angry, whether at the time of confession or later (remember that everyone works differently and feelings can be expressed later).

Thinking that being honest is enough to restore trust

Even if you are religiously honest, that you do not commit any deviations, it is possible that your partner does not place their trust in you yet. This is especially the case when the lies have lasted for months or years. You know that you are completely transparent and that you are no longer hiding anything, your partner does not know that yet. Only with time and long-term effort will your partner finally accept that you are being honest and can start trusting you again.

7 steps to build trust in a relationship

When we have a complicated relationship with one of our loved ones, it can be difficult to restore the relationship and build trust.

Overcome the obstacles

One of the first requirements in order to restore trust is the authenticity of the desire to overcome betrayal. You can only do it if there is a real determination to try and restore confidence. And it must be mutual. We sometimes believe that promising a reward, threatening or issuing an ultimatum will motivate the other.

Communicate effectively

Words carry weight, as do the intentions they convey. Not everyone has the same definition of trust, so you need to know what it means to yourself. If this is not successful, it will be more difficult to convince others to be loyal. Effective communication also involves sincere gestures, large or small – keeping your word, making life easier for those close to us by participating in tasks – which prove that we can be counted on. To become a trusted presence again, consider what you can do to make the other person “feel safe, heard, loved and respected.

Turn the page

Sometimes it’s important to close our eyes to mistakes. If, after a betrayal, we hear the page turn, adding, however, “I’ll give you a second chance, but if you do it again, it’s over”, the progress may be modest. This type of market is already a sign of mistrust. And reply to the person you have offended “You are too sensitive; do not let yourself be carried away by your emotions ”would in turn translate a deep lack of will to restore confidence in respect.

Trust your intuition

It’s tempting to reduce the breach of trust to its simplest expression: X hurt Y. Sometimes the responsibility is obvious – especially in cases of sexual assault or violent attack. In these exceptional cases, dialogue with the perpetrator is undoubtedly neither necessary nor beneficial. In less traumatic situations, the distribution of harm may be more difficult. Trust your inner sense. Learn from your experience and ask yourself if you can act differently if the situation arises again.

The exercise is sometimes enlightening

It is essential to take care of yourself when trust has been betrayed. Exercise is good for your mental health. In the brain, the release of endorphins, the hormones for good humor, provides a feeling of calm as the stress hormone cortisol decreases. Finally, joining a support group or adopting a faith-based practice will help those who remain suspicious. Look for people who have had the same experience, such as being deceived.

Give yourself time

Reconciliation does not come right away. Be patient and don’t panic if you don’t think you’ll get over it quickly enough. When one feels betrayed, the brain goes into reptilian mode (attack or flight) and makes it harder to rationally examine the situation. Taking the time to calm down and stop being on the defensive allows you to find a space for collaboration.

If you are the cause of this loss of confidence, consider approaching the betrayed person, but be patient and aware of their limitations. Do not hesitate to tell him that you recognize his pain and apologize. Make it clear that you want to reconnect, while accepting that it takes time.

Sometimes it’s better to move on

Despite our best efforts, rebuilding trust is not always possible. If all your attempts are unsuccessful. It can take decades to rebuild trust, and over time some will come together. There are reasons to hope.

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