Too many people still think that a long-distance relationship cannot work over time. This means that when we are faced with such a situation, we often find ourselves isolated in our approach: our family or our friends may discourage us from continuing or else advise us not to get too involved emotionally so as not to come out with the problem. Broken Heart.
Obviously, this is far from easy. I can guarantee this to you after more than three years of long distance relationship. The kilometers between lovers make many everyday things much more complicated. And if you can’t come to terms with the nature of the relationship, it causes a lot of sadness and loneliness.
But all is not black either. This geographical distance makes it possible to better appreciate the interactions that one can have with his or her partner. We cherish these little things that allow us to continue living a true life as a couple despite the miles.
How to have a successful long distance relationship?
Succeeding in a long-distance relationship is not as hard as it seems! We still have to start on the right foot. The evolution of the world forces many couples to live separately from each other, sometimes separated by several thousand kilometers. Distance can then turn out to be a determining factor in the success or failure of the relationship at least, that’s what the myth says about it. How then to maintain a successful long-distance relationship? Here are some tips and tricks to fully maintain your relationship and be fulfilled despite the distance.
Get rid of your limiting beliefs about long distance relationships
It may seem silly or obvious, but to embark on a long-distance relationship that works, you have to be convinced that it can be successful! A lot of people have judgments about this type of couple, thinking it doesn’t work, and is doomed to fail. Believe my experience: it works. And not just for me but for the thousands of couples each year who find themselves living together after years of separation. So do not listen too much to your aunt Germaine, divorced three times, who will repeat to anyone who wants to hear it that it will not work. Nor to all the other negative people who revolve around you: colleagues, parents, friends or whatever. After all, counselors are not payers. Maybe they want to help you, but who better than you can know what’s right for you? Don’t forget about different phases of love and try to live it even if you have a long distance relationship.
Believe in your partner: the importance of trust
The success of a long-distance relationship will depend above all on the trust you place in your partner!
The most frustrating and annoying thing is not knowing what exactly is going on on the other side. Did she go out tonight? Is he really at a professional seminar? Are they just friends? She might be giving in to some guy’s advances or even getting off on her. Stop fooling around. All this is surely just the fruit of your imagination. You will only harm yourself by imagining negative things and scenarios. Trust him , because just letting yourself know that his or her partner will never cheat will keep you quiet.
Rest assured, trust is considered the basis of any relationship that is meant to be long term. Even if some remote couples come to use solutions close to espionage (!) Such as GPS tracking applications or sharing their respective messengers, we do not recommend this solution at all, which proves to be toxic. And ineffective: just like the parental controls we could have when we were children, there are always tips to get around these solutions one way or another! It is therefore better to bet on a common trust that will carry you further, of which you can both be proud.
See the positive
Long-distance love is also good! It may happen that the distance also allows you to take care of your personal projects a little more. For example, sometimes you need time and concentration for your studies or other professional tasks. you can also allow you to take more time for yourself, to play sports, to relax, to go out with friends, to spend time with your family, or just to watch TV shows that your partner would not have liked. No need to wax, argue over what to watch on Netflix, or think while shopping!
All of these little things contribute to your personal growth as much as your partner, and the more fulfilled you are, the more you will have to bring to them! In short, a win-win relationship.
In cases of couples who already had a life together and find themselves estranged from each other, the distance will be something that may be difficult to get used to. But tell yourself that after all, it won’t last a lifetime and you will find a way to see each other again quickly. Focusing on the positive will keep your relationship going despite the distance in bad times. Plan for this and make your reunion intense and above all unforgettable. Also know that distance can positively impact your relationship. In other words, it can be one of the trials that will only strengthen your relationship.
Be patient and don’t forget the basics
Sometimes, overwhelmed, you will want to give up, you may say to yourself “what good, that surely won’t work”. Sometimes we even find ourselves jealous of our friends in more traditional relationships, who have the opportunity to see each other every day. Always remember that if you got into a relationship with this person, it was for excellent reasons. One must keep. Remember her qualities, think about everything you love about her, all your common points, already imagine your life together.
Stay in regular contact
Like trust, communication is an important part of a relationship. A couple who don’t talk often enough risks breaking up over time. It is not a few thousand kilometers, nor the time difference or even an ocean that will prevent you from communicating! Gone are the days of handwritten letters that were sent to each other and which, at the risk of not reaching the recipient, could take forever to arrive. Text each other, make calls as often as possible, because it keeps you close. Let us forget the famous “far from the eyes, far from the heart” and let us stay in the logic of “far from the eyes close to the heart”: we may not see a person often, but always have him in our thoughts.
Don’t give up on your sex life
It is often said that a lack of sexual activity can be catastrophic for a relationship, and the romantic distance becomes overwhelming. The fact of not seeing each other, feeling, can be difficult for two people who love each other, because physical proximity is essential. In this case you can try, tantric sex, with your partner which will make you feel closer to each other.
Once again in this context of a distant couple, new technologies are helping us almost entirely fill this void: to go the distance, send each other erotic texts, intimate photos, even intimate videos. If you do venture there, after having a sex dream about your partner, be careful never to put your face on these type of photos: even if you are happy with your partner today, they should not be released a few years later in case of break! You can also try remote control sextoys, which will certainly spice up your life as a couple.
Organize regular reunions
This advice may seem as paradoxical as it is crucial for a successful long-distance relationship. Of course, you have to know how to be patient, yes, but this patience must lead to something so that the wait is not in vain. Plan your next vacation already, and organize them together : this way you will both be involved in your future vacation. Even if it doesn’t seem like fun, organizing this trip will allow you to be more complicit and to get closer. I myself had this experience with my other half!
Of course, for reasons of budget or professional and family constraints, it can be difficult to see each other often. There is no “right frequency” for long-distance couples, no law that says you absolutely have to see each other every two months or every two weeks. There were times when we couldn’t see each other for 6 months, and while it might seem over the top for traditional couples, we both knew it was worth it and we went the distance. Just try to never be in the dark, always have a scheduled date. This will give you a course to hold a goal! This is one of the keys to long distance relationship success.
Plan together to go further in your relationship
To succeed in their romantic relationship at a distance from each other, it is also important that a couple have a common vision or the same prospects for the future. It is always good to support each other in your projects, so plan for the future together. Project yourself into the future, each give the best of yourself, it’s reassuring. The perfect relationship or the perfect couple is not impossible. It is your common contribution that makes the couple perfect.
Talk about your personal projects, which could well become joint projects. Do you want to take a trip around the worl? Have children? Going to live in Mexico? To change job ? Invest in a house? Adopt an animal? Getting started? Write a book? Create a blog? Create a business for two? Allow yourself to dream, and to include your partner in these projects discuss it together! Who knows, maybe your boyfriend or your girlfriend has the same desires as you, and it could turn into a great adventure. Discovering the dreams of your other half also allows you to get to know her much better, and to perceive her in a new light.
Watch over your partner from a distance
Sometimes you will have less good times. I have a secret: your boyfriend or girlfriend too. So try to be attentive to the needs of your partner, to be present in his moments of doubt, his difficulties a successful couple is an association of two happy people with each other. Show yourself to listen, seek to understand him / her, prove that you can be a real support. Even if you are not in the same room.
Most of the time, a problem isn’t resolved with hugs, but with careful listening and the right words. Be that pillar that he / she can count on. Share his joys and his sorrows. Loving each other, for better or for worse, that’s a functional couple. If you put in the effort, so will your partner.
Be honest, even about what’s bothering you!
Just as it is important to be able to trust your partner, be completely honest and don’t feel pressured to hide less pleasant matters. If you are looking to avoid tension at all costs, this will end up playing tricks on you! Rather than piling up the unspoken like piling up dirty dishes in a sink, we have to sort out the problems one by one, even the ones that don’t seem to matter that much but that work for us.
Seek advice from people who have themselves succeeded in their long-distance relationship
You might as well be honest. When I was in a long-distance relationship myself, it was difficult for me to know who to turn to! I did not know any couple around me who lived the same situation. I then created the content that I would have liked to receive (and yes, it starts with this blog): a series of 7 totally free emails directly inspired by our story of couple. You will discover our best advice, but also our mistakes and our difficulties when we lived apart. Don’t hesitate to subscribe, no spam, we promise!
Establish common rules
You both need to be extremely clear about what you expect from each other in their long distance relationships. Define basic rules as soon as possible that no one should break in order not to have any unpleasant surprises. For example, is this romantic relationship exclusive? Is it OK to date people of the opposite sex? It’s better if you both are on the same page before going any further.
Be careful not to over-communicate
Despite the distance, you don’t need to chat 15 hours a day for your relationship to move forward. Live your life, let your partner breathe, putting aside your possible possessiveness. Contrary to popular belief, you don’t need to compensate for the physical absence that much with more communication. This is not how it works. Otherwise, you will quickly lose patience. Communicate frequently, but rather than basing everything on it, bring a little variety in your interactions (activities, gifts, dates, etc.).
Don’t take unnecessary risks
When you know that you are going to do something “risky” for your relationship, for example going out with your friends at night to go drinking and dancing, then you should either not do it or let your partner know to reassure them. Don’t be insensitive to this, as your partner will either be suspicious or extremely worried about you . For him / her, you put yourself in a potentially dangerous situation for your relationship and where he / she has no control. So be aware of the potential “danger” looming over you and listen to your partner’s objections.
Make the most of your long-distance relationship
Just because you’re alone doesn’t mean you have to mope around and shut yourself away. It’s not all about your partner and your long-distance relationship. You still have your family, your friends, your own goals and passions. Take time to do more with the people you care about, to discover new things to do, or to move towards your dreams. A lot of things don’t depend on your long distance relationship, so take advantage of being alone to do whatever you want.
Learn to control your jealousy
It is not uncommon in a long-distance relationship to feel jealousy from time to time for people of the same sex as you with whom your partner has interacted. Unfortunately unchecked jealousy combining both possessiveness, insecurity, anger, and doubts can turn your relationship into an explosive mix. If you experience this sometimes, learn how to control your jealousy before it controls you. It is not something easy, but it is possible.
Exchange your calendars
In a long-distance relationship, it’s extremely interesting to know your partner’s agenda so that you know when he / she is busy and free. This way you know when you can message or call them, rather than disturbing them at the wrong time (class, exam, work, meeting, etc.). Also try to know which are the small and the big events which are out of the ordinary in its upcoming schedule (trips, exams, interviews, activities, etc.). This is especially important to know if you live in different time zones.
Be optimistic
The point is, in such a situation you have no other choice if you want to be successful in your long-distance relationship than to be optimistic. It is obvious that the wait is going to be painful and that you will often feel lonely, but you need to remember that if you are doing all of this it is because the fruit of this adventure will really want it. Show gratitude to your partner. Show gratitude every day for this relationship and for this love that is so precious.
Skype as much as possible
In terms of distance communication, nothing today surpasses the possibility of communicating with your partner using video. You need to see your partner and your partner needs to see you on a daily basis, so install programs on your computer and mobile phone that allow video calling for free, then make it a habit.
Do you talk about your families and friends?
Despite the distance, your goal is to be part of the same family and share the same daily life. This means you can get started today by sharing more about the people who fill your day, like your friends and family. In this way, you will get to know better the people who are dear to your partner and vice versa. In short, you will gradually build an expanded definition of what your “family” and your “daily life” are.