It’s common to feel insecure in your relationship at times, but if that insecurity is persistent and affects your self-confidence, it’s important to understand why you feel that way, so you can work toward creating a stronger, more confident bond with your partner. Understanding the reasons behind your insecurity can help start the conversation and open up doors for both of you to form a more meaningful and secure commitment. Here are seven common reasons why you may feel so insecure in your relationship.
Low Self-Esteem
Low self-esteem is often the root cause of many insecurities. If you already doubt your own worth and value, it’ll be that much easier to doubt your partner’s love and commitment to the relationship. It’s worth taking the time to work on your self-esteem, so you can start the process of healing and believing in yourself.
Fear Of Being Hurt or Abandoned
If you’ve been in relationships before, chances are they all had a similar theme of being left. This can lead to irrational and baseless fears of being abandoned by your partner as well. It’s important to recognize and talk about your hurt, so you can reach a place of understanding with your partner and trust them.
A Lack Of Communication
If you don’t communicate openly and honestly with your partner, it can cause you to feel insecure. So many issues can arise when communication isn’t a priority. Without it, it can be hard to know how your partner feels and where you stand in the relationship.
Insecurity Due To The Past
Similar to fear of being hurt, unresolved issues from past relationships can cause insecurity in the present. If a past relationship left you feeling betrayed or unworthy, it can be hard to move forward in your current relationship. Recognizing and dealing with this emotion is key to feeling secure in your new relationship.
Different Life Goals And Ambitions
Different life goals and ambitions can cause a disconnect in a relationship, which can result in a feeling of insecurity. It’s important to talk about where you both stand, and how to make your dreams a reality together.
Not Being On The Same Page
If your partner and you continuously disagree on issues, it can be hard to feel secure in the relationship. Working through these issues is key to be on the same page and find a happy medium you can both live with.
Intimacy Issues
Intimacy is an important part of any healthy relationship. Especially when it concerns sex. If you constantly feel like your partner isn’t being satisfied, or if you are worried about your intimate performance, it can have a significant impact on your security in the relationship.
What To Do When You Feel Insecure In Your Relationship
If you find yourself feeling insecure in your relationship, there are a few important steps you can take to find a sense of security and well-being again.
Acknowledge Your Emotions
Acknowledging and understanding what exactly is causing your insecurity is the foundation. Take some time to really understand why you feel this way, and you will be able to find a better resolution and approach to the issue.
Communicate Your Feelings
Once you’ve identified the source of your insecurity, communicating your feelings to your partner is key to establishing a secure bond. It’s important to communicate that you are scared and vulnerable, and be open about the ways the two of you can help each other work through your fear and find a mutual understanding.
Be Receptive To Their Input
It’s also important to be open to what your partner has to say in response. Listen to them and take their words, ideas and solutions into account when you craft solutions together. Keeping communication flowing and having an attitude of cooperation is key.
Take Reasonable Steps To Address Your Insecurities
Once your fears are recognized, there are a few concrete steps you can take to help address your insecurities.
Be Open And Vulnerable
If insecurity is stemming from a disconnection in communication, open up with your partner and talk about your relationship. Saying “I feel emotional insecure” opens up dialogue and the ability to tackle the issue head-on.
Invest In Your Relationship
Find ways to make sure you’re both invested in the relationship. Whether you go on date nights or take trips, engaging with your partner and immersing yourself in the relationship is key to building strong feelings of security.
Learn To Trust Yourself And Your Partner
Learning to trust yourself and your partner is essential when learning to feel secure. Learning to fully trust someone can be hard, but it doesn’t mean you have to do it alone. Talk to your partner about why you are feeling the way you are and create a system of trust between each other.
Practice Self-Care
Finally, it’s important to practice healthy self-care habits to ground and secure yourself. Take time to practice relaxation techniques such as mediation or journaling, or exercise and spend time with friends.
Finding A Place Of Security In Your Relationship
Reaching a place of security in your relationship may take some time and effort, but with commitment and dedication, you can build a healthier, more fulfilling connection with your partner. Many of the steps discussed here, such as communication and self-care, are essential for any relationship, and can help you build a secure base from which to work from.