Being in a relationship should make both partners feel happy and secure—but this isn’t always the case. If you are feeling neglected by your partner, it’s important to take the necessary steps to find the best solution for both of you. Read on to find out what to do when your partner is ignoring you.
Recognize the Signs of Being Ignored
Before taking action to address the issue of being ignored, it is important to recognize the signs. Some of the signs that you are being ignored by your partner may include:
• Having longer periods of silence between conversations
• Not getting a response or acknowledgement when you try to talk
• Not being included in their decisions, plans, or activities
• Not getting the attention that you used to
• Feeling like your conversations are not valued or taken seriously
Understand Why Your Partner is Ignoring You
The first step to resolving any issue in any relationship is to understand why it is happening. It is often helpful to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and try to understand what they are thinking or feeling. Ask yourself open-ended questions and consider all perspectives, such as:
• Are there any underlying issues your partner may not be comfortable discussing?
• Is there any unresolved past conflict causing tension between you and your partner?
• Has something you did caused your partner to feel hurt or disrespected?
• Are there external factors, such as stress from work, that could cause your partner to lose focus on the relationship?
Take a Step Back and Look at the Big Picture
If your partner is ignoring you, it is important to take a step back and look at the big picture. It’s easy to get distracted and argumentative when your partner is ignoring you and this could lead to an unnecessary fight. Instead, take a breath and try to assess the situation objectively. To help put the issue in the right perspective, try the following:
• Take an analytical approach to understanding what’s causing the issue and assess how it must feel to be on the other side.
• Remind yourself of your goals and what is important to you in the relationship.
• Make an effort to stay calm and resist the urge to overreact.
• Talk with a trusted friend, family member, or counsellor to get another point of view.
How to Talk to Your Partner
When it comes to communicating with a partner who is ignoring you, it is essential to do so in a respectful and non-confrontational way. Start by acknowledging the fact that you have been feeling ignored and that this is causing you to worry about the health of your relationship. Ask your partner if they are willing to sit down and talk about the issue candidly. Make sure you stay away from topics that could leave your partner feeling attacked or on the defensive.
Below are some tips on how to communicate in a constructive way:
• Remain calm and avoid accusing language, such as “You always…” or “You never…”
• Choose a time and place where there is minimal distractions and interruptions.
• Speak about yourself, not about your partner’s behavior.
• Acknowledge your partner’s feelings and share your own.
• Ask about your partner’s perspective and share yours.
• Choose the right words, such as “it makes me feel” instead of “I think you…”
Set Boundaries
Setting boundaries is essential for any relationship to be successful, and this becomes even more important when your partner is ignoring you. Having healthy boundaries will help you to avoid resentment, minimize any communication issues, and help your relationship with your partner become stronger. When setting boundaries, make sure to:
• Communicate what is acceptable to you and in the relationship.
• Make sure that your boundaries are reasonable and realistic.
• Let your partner know what would happen each time they breach the boundaries.
• Demonstrate respect—treat your partner how you want to be treated.
• Show appreciation when your partner respects your boundaries.
Steps to Healing After Being Ignored
If the issue of being ignored has been going on for some time, it is important to take steps to start the healing process. After discussing the issue openly with your partner, it is important to take the steps necessary to ensure that the relationship can be restored. Some of the steps you can take include:
• Take time to forgive yourself and your partner.
• Spend quality time together and focus on building the connection.
• Have honest and open conversations about the issues.
• Take time to appreciate your partner and let them know.
• Respect and communicate your wants and needs in the relationship.
• Invest in relationship counselling to work on the issues together.
Know When to Walk Away
There are some times where walking away is the right thing to do—even when your partner is ignoring you. If every effort has been made to salvage the relationship and communication hasn’t improved, it may be necessary to get professional help. If nothing changes after counselling and your relationship is not one that you would like to be in anymore, you may have to make the hard decision to walk away and end the relationship completely.
Being ignored by your partner can be a painful experience, especially when the issue is left unresolved. If your partner is ignoring you, it is important to take the necessary steps to understand the underlying issue and start the process of healing. Hopefully, the tips and advice outlined in this article will help you to address this issue and restore the relationship with your partner.