Relationships should be built on trust, respect, and love. Partners should feel safe and secure in their relationship, receiving love, support, and validation. Unfortunately, some partners can make their significant other feel insecure and emotionally hurt by deliberately embarrassing or belittling them. Among those destructive behaviors, fat shaming stands out as one of the most pervasive and damaging ones. This tactic is used by an intimate partner to describe, ridicule, and with the explicit purpose of making the other party feel bad about their size, shape, or weight.
While many cases of fat shaming are first attributed to the partner’s insecurity or jealous nature, the effects, often long-term and far-reaching, are very real, even if the partner himself may not realize it. As such, it is essential to address this behavior in a timely manner and acknowledge its damaging impact and implications.
What Is Fat Shaming
Fat shaming is the act of ridiculing someone for their size, shape, or weight. This behavior can be overt or subtle and can include anything from name-calling and body-policing to comparing one’s own body to someone else’s. It is performed with the intent of making the target feel bad about themselves and their physical self. Fat shaming can be experienced in any size body and can take many forms, including teasing, taunting, and mocking comments.
The Effects of Fat Shaming
Fat shaming has a dramatic impact on the psychological and mental wellbeing of the person on the receiving end. Its long-term effects include reduced self-confidence and self-esteem, anxiety and depression, body dysmorphia, anger, and eating disorders. It can also have physical effects such as stress, hypertension, and heart problems.
When fat shaming comes from a partner, the effects can be particularly severe as it dig deep into a person’s sense of worth and evoke feelings of distrust, disappointment, and betrayal. It has been found that fat shaming can lead to a conflict-ridden environment and an overall sense of disconnection and unhappiness in the relationship.
How To Identify Fat Shaming
Fat shaming can come in many different forms, with some being more obvious than others. It’s important to be aware and recognize the signs of fat shaming so that it can be addressed before it does more harm. Here are some common signs to look out for:
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Name-calling – The use of derogatory words such as “fat” or “obese” to describe a person’s body or size.
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Body Badging – The comparison of one’s body to someone else’s, such as making “I look better than you” comments or suggesting that someone should exercise more or eat fewer carbs.
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Making Jokes – Making jokes about a person’s physical appearance as a way to put them down.
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Being Overly Critical – Pointing out flaws in one’s physical appearance, such as labeling clothes as “too small” or “too big.”
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Making Unsolicited Advice – Offering unsolicited advice on diet, exercise, or lifestyle choices.
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Restrictive Dieting – Suggesting that someone should reduce the quantity or type of food that they eat in order to be pleasing in the eyes of the beholder.
If you’ve noticed that any of these behaviors are happening in your relationship, it may be evidence of your partner’s underlying fat shaming behavior.
How To Handle Fat Shaming
If you’re in a relationship with someone who fat shames you, it can be difficult to know how to respond in an effective yet dignified way. Here are some tips for responding to fat shaming behavior:
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Remain Calm – It can be difficult to stay collected when someone is speaking to you in a derogatory or insulting manner, but it is important to try and remain as composed as possible.
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Access Your Feelings – Take a moment to recognize how the words are making you feel and to validate those feelings.
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Communicate Constructively – Once you are calm, it’s important to analyze what your partner has said and to respond in a way that is both honest and assertive.
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Stress The Importance of Respect – Make sure to remind your partner that respect is a vital element of any relationship.
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Set Firm Boundaries – Make it clear that fat shaming is not acceptable and that it will no longer be tolerated. Be sure to emphasize that any future behavior of this nature will not be tolerated either.
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Seek Professional Help – If the situation does not improve despite your best efforts, counseling may be an appropriate and necessary step in finding a resolution that is respectful and effective.
Fat shaming is damaging and hurtful behavior that should not be tolerated in any relationship. It is important to recognize the signs of fat shaming so that it can be addressed early and appropriate boundaries can be established. Relationships should be built on respect and love, and no one should feel the need to apologize or feel ashamed for their size or shape.