The thought of living in harmony with the one you love may give butterflies in your stomach. It is an awesome feeling to know that you can spend time together and build a life for yourselves. But before your relationship advances to what some would call this “definitive step” it is important to make serious considerations to ensure that you two do not fall out of favor with each other quickly. Moving in together is a special occasion, and there are certain steps which you will both need to take to make sure everything goes as they wish. So that you both enter this phase of your relationship with a greater understanding of each other, here’s a list of several things you’ll need to do before moving in together.
Discuss Financial Responsibilities
One of the main topics of conversation for anyone contemplating moving in together should be financial responsibility. It is important to have an honest discussion about how you both plan to finance your new home and lifestyle. This can often be a tricky conversation due to the sensitive nature of disclosing what income each of you make and how you use it.
Regardless of your plans, it is essential to make sure you are comfortable with what each person will be contributing financially. Are you each going to cover your own housing costs? Or will one of you pay the rent while the other covers utilities? Additionally, make sure you understand each other’s financial obligations in terms of bills and other such purchases. If you two decide that you will be sharing shared costs, create an agreement as to how you will handle purchases and document it.
Figure Out Which Chores You Will Do
Sharing a living space means that you both will now be responsible for performing certain chores. From cleaning to doing laundry and even grocery shopping, you will quickly realize that you both must find a system where chores are assigned and tasks are completed. Make sure you both have an honest conversation about which of you will be responsible for doing what around the house.
If you’re going to be sharing costs, make sure you both discuss who will be doing the grocery shopping. If you’re both working, will you take turns cutting the lawn and taking out the trash? Establish who will complete the different tasks and make sure you both are comfortable with what the other will be responsible for. Having this conversation early on will save you both time, headaches, and the dreaded arguments over who should have done what.
Create a List of Your Items
When you two decide it’s time to move in together, create a list of what items each of you will need to bring with you. Make sure to include items such as furniture, decorations, electrical appliances, kitchen appliances, and even artwork. During this process, it may be helpful to bring in a third party who may be able to provide a more objective decision around which items should move with you two and which should stay in storage.
Creating a list will ensure there is greater clarity as to what both of you will bring when moving in together. This type of organization will help both avoid the uncomfortable conversations after noticing someone’s favorite belongings are still at home.
Share Your Schedule
When living under the same roof, it is important that you both understand each other’s work and/or school schedules. Even if it is not exactly the same for both of you, you both should be aware of when the other is working and when they are available.
Before deciding to move in together, it is best to discuss times for both to get rest and times for going out and working around the house. It is also important to understand which times are most crucial for the other and make sure both plans coincide with each other’s.
Talk About Habits
Living together means you two will likely form habits that you might not have considered before. It also means you’ll be constantly exposed to an individual with habits that may or may not be self-destructive. This calls for serious conversations between you two as to how you will handle such habits in your home.
The nature of this discussion has to include rules which both agree to and a system of accountability. Will there be a consequence for breaking the rule? Or are you two just steering away from performing certain actions? If you two develop a positive system, the chances of there being conflict around broken agreements is greatly reduced.
Discuss Your Social Life
This might seem to trivial for some, but conversations about social life are essential for any couple functioning household. Before moving in together, understand each other’s preferences as to who you invite over, when, and why. Many couples find difficulty disputing over which aspects of their social life are most important.
It is useful to think ahead of time about how many people you want to host, who is invited, and whether or not you should be the host. Even more so, who will lead the hosting duties? One of you? Or can you both split the job? Make sure both of you are comfortable with the agreement you’re making as it pertains to your social life.
Set Ground Rules
This is a crucial item to do before making the move – laying out ground rules. This is especially important if you two are living together as a couple but not necessarily as a married couple. When deciding on ground rules, you should each have an entire conversation and agree on the behaviors that either of you might find reprehensible and why.
This conversation should include a discussion around how to handle arguments, disappointments, and other conflicts that might arise. This may not be a comfortable conversation right away, but it is important that you two create boundaries which you both agree to. When that happens, there is much more respect given to the other.
Moving in together is a great way to take your relationship to the next level. It can also foster the much-needed commitment both individuals agree to to stay together. There is however great responsibility that comes with moving in together, and it is important to discuss the necessary steps beforehand to prevent potential issues.
To ensure that you and your special someone enter into this stage of your relationship on the same page and committed to each other’s happiness, have a conversation around the items listed in this article. Even if your conversations are lengthy and uncomfortable, it’s sure to pay dividends on the road ahead.