For some people, self-validation can be challenging. It is easy to get caught in a negative thought cycle, comparing themselves to others, and feeling unworthy and powerless. Learning to validate and love ourselves is essential to mental and physical health, and can be a real challenge. Self-validation is self-awareness and self-care, getting rid of the blocks, barriers, and obstacles that impeded self-growth. It is about developing a healthy connection to yourself, recognizing your own worth and capabilities, and expressing self-love.
Self-validation is an ongoing practice of connecting with ourselves, understanding our own feelings, needs, and desires and honoring them. With greater self-validation we can answer the essential questions, “who am I?” and “what do I need?” With self-validation, you can rid yourself of negative thoughts, and validate your own thoughts, feelings, actions, and decisions.
Here are some steps to help cultivate and grow your self-validation and acceptance of yourself:
- Track Your Patterns and Habits
Pay attention to your thoughts and how they make you feel. Keep a journal or diary of the patterns that come up in those thoughts and feelings. Become aware of the patterns of negative self-talk or “inner critic” and try to notice when this is happening. Knowing the root cause of these negative thoughts can be the first step to self-validation.
- Listen and Respond to Questions
Pay attention to the questions you are asking yourself, “Am I enough?”, “Do I deserve this?”, and “Who am I to…”. There might be immense pressure we put on ourselves and our inner dialogue will determine how we move through this kind of pressure. Listen to the questions and answer them with compassion and respect towards yourself.
- Connect With Your Body
Take the time to connect and listen to your body. Move away from the busyness and stress of day-to-day living and check-in with yourself through activities such as yoga or meditation. Grounding exercises can be really beneficial, such as feeling the warmth of the sun on your skin. Doing so can help you recognize what is of value to you, refocus, and energize you.
- Move From Criticism To Acceptance
Shift from being negative and critical to being accepting and compassionate. Treat yourself with kindness and support. When you find yourself criticizing yourself, remind yourself of your positive traits and take a deep breath. Speak to yourself like you are speaking to a friend or a loved one. Cultivating compassion from yourself can aid in validating yourself.
- Identify Your Strengths and Accomplishments
Be proud of your strengths and accomplishments, both small and big. Make a list of things you achieved over the past month, year, or five years. Acknowledge them as successes and realize how far you have come. Celebrate your wins and allow yourself to enjoy it.
- Treat Yourself
Take treats and rewards with love and respect. Buy yourself a coffee, go to the movies or enjoy a nice dinner out. Listen to the stories that come up, honor them, and take care of yourself.
- Have Healthy Boundaries
Say “no” when you need to. Honor your physical, emotional, and mental limits. Take the time and space to reboot and relax to lower stress and anxiety. If you don’t have time for yourself, consider reopening some of your boundaries.
- Be Mindful of Your Expectations
Having high expectations of ourselves can cause pressure. Be aware of when these expectations come up, manage them, and adjust them as needed.
- Learn To Change Your Perspective
Challenge negative thoughts or beliefs. You don’t have to believe what you think. Recognize that your thoughts might not be serving you, and use tools such as reframing, cognitive restructuring, or challenge the belief to create shift in those thoughts.
- Seek Support
Reaching out for help is not a sign of weakness. Opening up to positive people that care about you and reach their support and unconditional love is a way to learn to love and to validate yourself. Join a meet-up group or look for a certified therapist to talk to. Find a safe space to express your feelings and learn to support yourself.
Self-validation is an essential part of taking care of yourself. It is about honoring who you are and being conscious and aware of your thoughts, feelings, and needs. Validate yourself, allow yourself to explore how you “show up” in the world and if it resonates with who you truly are. Tune into yourself and show up in the world with authenticity, courage, and self-love.